Depending on your experiences, you may view people that walk into your life in a certain way. If you’ve been hurt by relationships, then you may view any potential love interest as a future heartbreak. If you’ve been hurt by friends, then you may view any person being nice to you as a future deception. Your experiences have the tendency to shape the lens that you see people through and the colors that you see people with. But what if I told you that it was time for some new glasses?
I was talking to a friend of mine who saw every person with colors of distrust. She refused to give anyone a chance and when I inquired more into her reasoning for doing this, she responded with the popular Maya Angelou quote, “When people show you who they are…believe them.” My follow-up question was “How can someone show you who they are if you’ve already made up in your mind who they are going to be?”
While I agree with the quote, I disagree in the way in which she was using it. Just because one person shows you that they cannot be trusted does not mean that everybody else will be the same way, but many people make the mistake of coloring people in their present with the colors of the people in their past.
When you color your present with your past, it is a defense mechanism to block people from hurting you, but whenever you block one thing, you also block its opposite. If you block hurt, then you block help. If you block heartbreak, then you block love.
Although it’s hard, you have to stop blocking people and allow every person the chance to show you who they are without prejudgments and assumptions. When you make an assumption about someone, you are basically deciding the thoughts, actions, and beliefs of a person without their input.
Whenever a new person walks into your life, hand them a blank canvas and an extensive color palette. The blank canvas allows them the opportunity to paint whatever picture of themselves that they choose and the color palette allows them the opportunity to show you their true colors without being limited to the colors of your past.