It is a pretty general consensus that a lot of millennials are afraid of commitment, especially at an early age. That was verified during an interesting conversation I had with a few people where they informed me of how they get other people to be okay with them not committing so they can still be single and have sex with other people.
The secret method is to get a “person of convenience.” The person of convenience is there whenever they need attention, a FaceTime conversation, a free meal, a back massage, sex, and other necessities. The person of convenience can also just be someone to emotionally drain while they deal with life’s problems or unresolved feelings for an ex.
Once they have this person of convenience, they will make them feel like they are in a relationship with them without ever giving them a title. When the conversation does come up about making it official, the person that is avoiding commitment will say one of the below five excuses.
1. Do you care about me or just a title?
2. I was hurt/lied to/cheated on so I have trust issues.
3. The last time I gave someone a title they changed on me and I like the way things are between us.
4. It is not the right time, but after (insert sorry excuse here) I will be ready for a relationship.
5. The next relationship will be with the person I marry, so I want to be careful before I jump into another one.
Any of these excuses will spare the person avoiding commitment some time before the conversation comes up again. In the meantime, they has the option of being single when they wants to be and also the person of convenience when they want those few moments of feeling like they are in a relationship. When the person of convenience starts “tripping” then they can dip out without having to explain themselves because they haven’t committed to anyone.
The sad part about this is that a lot of millennials have conditioned other millennials into believing that title-less relationships are better, but they actually only cause heartbreak and confusion.
When an employer hires someone, they give them a title so the employee knows what to do. A CEO is not going to complete the same duties as a secretary, but without a title being given the secretary may start completing the tasks of a CEO. That is because the secretary does not know their role. In additional to overstepping boundaries, the untitled secretary still goes home with the paycheck of a secretary. So, although the secretary was doing more work, they still were compensated less because they were not given the title of the work that they were completing.
When someone is serious about another person, they’ll want to let the world know that this person is theirs. A girlfriend or boyfriend is not going to do the same things as an untitled person, but without a title being given the untitled person may start acting like a girlfriend or boyfriend. That is because the untitled person does not have a clear role. In addition to that, the untitled man or woman still can’t claim the other person publicly. So, although the untitled person does things for the other person that people in relationships do, they still go home single and emotionally exhausted because the person of convenience gave of themselves before actually having someone who mutually agreed to receive it.
I’ll leave you with a verse from one of Mary J. Blige’s most popular songs “Not Gon’ Cry” which further explains what happens when you act like a CEO with a secretary salary.
I was your lover and your secretary
Working every day of the week
Was at the job when no one else was there
Helping you get on your feet
Eleven years of sacrifice
And you can leave me at the drop of a dime
Swallowed my fears, stood by your side
I shoulda left your a** a thousand times