As a woman who has been disappeared on in the midst of relationships, I have a sore spot for men that leave without a warning. It is the deepest rejection that I had ever felt and I asked God to never allow that to happen again. I didn’t want to feel the pain of unworthiness and rejection again because it was a heavy load to bear. What I didn’t realize was by me asking God to cease rejection in my life, I was asking him to allow me to entangle myself in relationships that he has not intended for me just so I can feel accepted instead of rejected. Which one was worse? Rejection or relationships that serve as life detours for the sake of my insecurity feeling momentarily secure because someone was finally accepting the love I was offering.
Today, I backtracked my request to God. Today, I asked Him that every relationship that He has not intended for me rejects the love I try to offer it. I asked God to allow every man who is not meant to be in my life to leave me expeditiously, if not sooner. Today, I realized that I prefer the temporary pain of rejection than the permanent pain of intertwining myself with a poison that accepted my love but detoured my destiny. Today, I gave up pleasure for the progression of pain. The pain of rejection is transportation. The pain of rejection is transporting me right into the arms of the man God has called to be mine and me to be his and I’m ready for the ride. There is a progression in God’s rejection.