Love is Not a Race: The Speed of Relationships

Everybody knows at least one girl with an extremely negative and pessimistic view on men and relationships. She thinks that all men are dogs because she’s been cheated on by every man that promised to be faithful. She believes that men only want to have sex because she’s been left by every man who got tired of waiting until she was ready to take it to the next level. She also knows that all men will leave, because all of the men she was dating dropped her like a bad habit and a lot of the time it was without giving an explanation. I used to know that girl very well. Matter of fact, I used to be that girl.

After being hurt and used a countless number of times, I was pretty much over the whole concept of relationships. I started to believe that maybe other people were created to be in great relationships, but maybe I was made different because it never worked out in my favor. From the guy who asked me to be the Godmother of his child with another woman while we were dating, to the guy who disappeared in the middle of our relationship after he had planned a couple’s getaway. Those experiences built my belief that maybe I was meant to be what the Twittersphere calls “#ForeverAlone,” because I couldn’t manage to find love as quickly and successfully as other people on my timeline.

I was frustrated with myself because I couldn’t understand why my love life was ending up like a rollercoaster ride. I felt like I was losing in love because I wanted things to change in my life, but I still had yet to start consulting God before involving myself in relationships. Also, I still didn’t stop asking God to bless relationships that he didn’t ordain in the first place. If I wanted things to change, I had to change the rushed view that I had on relationships so that I would make better choices in men.

I wanted the perfect man to show up and date me as quick as it looked like it was happening for others and I was getting exactly what I asked for…quick relationships. I was asking for a “McDonald’s” experience with the quality of a 5-Star establishment. McDonald’s is a fast food restaurant, which means that they can only put food on the menu that can be cooked in a matter of minutes.

Since most meals take longer than two or three minutes to make, they have resorted to adding chemicals to normal food like burgers and fries in order to speed up production and maintain appearance. For example, the bun of a McDonald’s burger has a plethora of dangerous chemicals including one chemical that is also used to make fireworks, which is dangerous to your body. And the French fries contain 19 ingredients, instead of just potatoes, oil, and salt. So, in reality, what looks and tastes like a regular burger and fries to you, is really just a build-up of chemicals stuffed in a white paper bag with fancy ketchup.

That is exactly the type of man that I was dating. He appeared to be a great man that was creating the relationship I desired very quickly, which I thought was amazing. But behind the appearance were a lot of harmful chemicals, red flags, and character flaws that I either subconsciously overlooked or just could not see until I took off the blinders and fully digested the type of man I had allowed myself to become involved with. That is when I learned that most men that are keen on getting into a relationship quickly after meeting me were hiding something that they didn’t want to give me the time to see. They feared if we took it at a normal pace then they would be exposed and I would leave, but if I discovered these flaws after committing to them then I would be more willing to stay.

I had to open up my Bible to see what God had to say about love and relationships, and it was in that moment that I realized that there was no way I could be losing because love isn’t a race. Love isn’t about who can get married the quickest and get the most likes on their wedding album on Facebook. Love isn’t about who can be posted the most as #WCW (Woman Crush Wednesday) on Instagram. Love isn’t even about how quickly can we move from being single to a committed relationship.

Love is about building a house. Nobody goes out and brags that their 4,000 square foot house was built in 3 days. Think about the responses and side stares you’ll get if you went out and told people that. They would automatically question things like the foundation of the house, the walls ability to withstand any natural disasters that may occur in the future, if the doors are in the right spot, and they would even question the builder of the house. Psalm 127:1 says “Unless the LORD builds the house, those who build it labor in vain.”

When the Lord is building your relationship in the same manner that he builds a house, you will notice that it may take some time. He has to remove you from your pain and heal the wounds of your past relationships in order for him to bring you into your present and future blessing. Love is not a race. Let God set the pace.


Black Inventors that Changed the World: Richard Spikes

Richard Bowie Spikes, born in Dallas, Texas in 1878, was a black man with an innovative mind that created and patented numerous inventions over the course of his lifetime. We use many of his inventions on a daily basis and consider them essential in our daily lives! Check out a few of them below!

1: The Automatic Gear Shift (1932)


2: Automatic Car Wash (1913)


3: Automatic Safety Brake (1962)

Discovery Sport

4: Beer Keg Tap (1910)


5: Barber Swinging Chair (1950)


6: Continuous Contact Trolley Pole (1919)

Matt Johnson (Flickr)

7: Brake Testing System (1921)


8: Automobile Turn Signals (1913)

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9: Self-Locking Rack for Billiard Cue Rack (1910)

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Iszy Billiards
For more of Spikes’ inventions, click here.

How to Align & Balance Chakras with Meditation

The human body is made of energy and the seven chakras are focal points of energy within the body that control different aspects of your being. When each of your chakras is balanced energy will flow freely through your body, you will align yourself to attract the things that you desire, and you will experience peace.

The seven chakras are the Crown, Third Eye, Throat, Heart, Solar Plexus, Sacral, and Root Chakra. The chart below dives deeper into what aspect of your life each chakra influences and the symptoms you will experience in your life when that chakra is out of balanced.


Meditation & Hypnosis Videos for Chakra Balance

The best way to balance your chakras is with meditation and yoga. Check out my top favorite chakra alignment vidos below!

10-Minute Chakra Balance

30-Minute Chakra Balance

45-Minute Chakra Balance


Wait for This Type of Man

Wait for the man that pursues you endlessly. The man who will respond to your texts in a reasonable amount of time. The man who won’t ghost you with no formal goodbye. The man who will FaceTime you just because he misses your face and calls you because he misses your voice. The man who makes time for you each and every day because you are a priority in his world. The man who thinks you are the most beautiful woman walking the planet and you often catch him staring just because you are too captivating for him to look away. The man who never makes you second guess how he feels about you and will commit to you with no hesitation because he doesn’t want to risk losing you in his life. Wait for that man!

When you’ve had many hot and cold relationships, it can become tempting to settle for a lukewarm kind of love. Please don’t settle for less than what you desire! The love you want is out there, you just have to believe it. And yes, you may have to wait a little longer than you expected for it to show up, but trust me it will show up.  When the man you’ve always dreamed about does finally show up in your reality, everything you’ve had to go through to get to him will be worth it. Every time someone told you they loved you but treated you like they hated you will be worth it. Every time someone said they would never leave your side, but left your side without a formal goodbye will be worth it. Every time you got rejected when you were only looking for acceptance will be worth it. When you meet the man who makes you feel at peace with how he loves you, it will all be worth it.

Just don’t give up! Don’t give up on the love that you desire just because it hasn’t shown up yet. Don’t allow the hurt people that have hurt you to make your heart turn cold. And please…don’t allow the people that have rejected you to make you believe that no one will ever accept you because that is a lie. You want to know how I know that is a lie? Because you, my dear, are amazing! You are beautiful! You are everything the right man will desire and everything that the wrong man won’t be able to see because he is not meant to see it.

Promise me you will wait. Promise me that you will wait for the man that pursues you endlessly. Promise me that you will wait for the man who will respond to your texts in a reasonable amount of time. Promise me that you will wait for the man who won’t ghost you with no formal goodbye. The man who will FaceTime you just because he misses your face and calls you because he misses your voice. The man who makes time for you each and every day because you are a priority in his world. The man who thinks you are the most beautiful woman walking the planet and you often catch him staring just because you are too captivating for him to look away. The man who never makes you second guess how he feels about you and will commit to you with no hesitation because he doesn’t want to risk losing you in his life. Promise me that you will wait for THAT man because he is waiting on you!

My 100lb. Weight Loss Secrets

Growing up I was always overweight. I remember going on my first diet in the 3rd grade after my doctor told me I needed to lose some weight. That was the beginning of a decade and a half of yo-yo dieting. I tried everything from the cabbage diet, the 3-day diet, the watermelon diet, the juice diet, Atkins Diet, Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, and the lemonade diet. Although these diets would work, it was only effective short-term. I would gain back even more weight than before after finishing the diet because I had deprived myself of normal eating habits. This was the Ferris wheel of my life and it wasn’t until the summer of 2015 when I decided to get off and search for a new ride that wouldn’t bring me up only to bring me back down again. That summer I decided to rid myself of the idea that I needed to “diet” to lose weight and adopt the concept of finding a permanent way of living that supported my weight loss endeavors. Here are the secrets of my 100 lb. weight loss!

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1: The Pescevegan Life

When I decided to make a change, I turned to another fad diet. It was Atkins this time. After two weeks and 10 pounds lost, I got sick of unlimited meat and cheese and the smell of it began to make me queasy. I decided that I needed to do the complete opposite of Atkins so I began a two-week vegan challenge on August 1, 2015, where meat and cheese were nowhere in sight. Within those two weeks, I saw a huge difference in myself and not just on the scale. My skin glowed, my energy was through the roof, and I just knew that this was a change I wanted to continue because I felt and looked better.

After two months of being strictly vegan, I began to notice that giving up snow crabs and crawfish was not something I wanted to commit to for the rest of my life. I looked into being a pescetarian, but pescetarians consume dairy and I didn’t want to add dairy back in my diet because it’s not the healthiest option to begin with. So, I decided to add seafood back, but without the dairy. After months of explaining that I’m not a vegan but I’m not a pescetarian either, I finally decided to make up a name for myself…pescevegan.

Being pescevegan has truly been the greatest contributor to my weight loss. It forces me to make healthy decisions at restaurants because I only have a limited portion of the menu to choose from. It has led me to be creative in the meals I create and find alternative versions of my favorites like pesto basil flatbread with mozzarella cheese, pulled pork sandwiches, and so many more dishes I love. You can check out my other recipes by clicking here. Being pescevegan has truly become a lifestyle that I have completely fallen in love with and I’m sure if you tried it, you would fall in love with it too.


2: High-Intensity Interval Cycling

Cycling is the new fitness craze and there are many amazing reasons why! When you are trying to lose weight, most people hit the treadmill and two weeks later want to physically HIT the treadmill. Running can cause damage to your knees because it is very high-impact, which can cause people to stop running shortly after they begin.

On the other hand, spinning has a very low-impact on your joints, which means you will most likely want to do it longer. Furthermore, to increase fat burning during your cycling sessions, it is helpful to adopt High-Intensity Interval Training (HITT). HITT involves combining short bursts of high-intensity exercises with short bursts of low-intensity exercises, which have been shown to increase weight loss more than steady cardio workouts. Since this type of workout combines interval training and a high-intensity workout, it results in excess post-exercise oxygen consumption (EPOC), also known as ‘afterburn.’ That means that your body remains a fat-burning machine for up to 48 hours after you finish your HIIT Workout.


3. MCT Oil

I LOVE LOVE LOVE MCT Oil! It is literally the best discovery I’ve ever made. When I reached somewhere around the 70lb. mark, I hit a weight loss plateau and MCT Oil got me over the hill. Medium-Chain Triglycerides (MCT’s) are a fatty acid that is extracted from coconut oil. As a result of them being “medium,” they are digested in the body faster and are known to aid in weight loss in a variety of ways.  It speeds up the metabolism, reduces your appetite, and is known to decrease the circumference of your waistline. According to Dr. Mark Hyman, “It gets absorbed directly from the gut into the liver and doesn’t get stored as fat but rather burned quickly and turned into energy. For many patients, MCT becomes that little nudge to help you drop those last 10 to 15 stubborn pounds that just won’t go away.”

Make sure to purchase MCT Oil that has 100% potency to maximize results. P.S. Another benefit of MCT Oil is the fact that it increases mental clarity and helps you focus! Add 2 tbsp. of MCT Oil to your smoothie each morning and watch your waistline get smaller!


4: Don’t Deprive Yourself

One of my favorite weight loss secrets is, “if you want to eat it, find a way to eat it.” I don’t believe in depriving yourself of the things that you want. Instead of depriving yourself, find a healthier alternative! When I’m craving pancakes, I’ll find a recipe for low-carb pancakes. On the other hand, let’s say that I’m craving pancakes and I want the typical high-carb pancake. Then, I will just count the calories for the pancakes and then go burn off the exact number of calories that I consumed from that pancake within an hour of eating it.


5: Vitamin B12

The vitamin B12 is ESSENTIAL to weight loss, especially when you aren’t eating a substantial amount of animal proteins. B12 has been scientifically proven to help you lose excess weight, boost your metabolism, and also give you substantial energy. I recommend purchasing a liquid B12 supplement. My favorite B12 supplement is either mykind Organic Whole Food B-12 Spray or Salt Lake Supplement’s Vitamin B12 Drops.


For more on me and my weight loss journey, follow me on Instagram @RealBJanai.

Cory Booker Announces Run for President

U.S. Senator Cory Booker announces on the first day of Black History Month that he is running for U.S. President in the 2020 Election. Senator Booker is a phenomenal man with a heart for the people. Check out more about Cory Booker’s campaign in the video below.

Photo Credit: Getty Images

Liquid Biotin: Secret to Quick Hair Growth

It is a proven fact that your body absorbs 98% of the vitamins that come in liquid form, compared to only 3-20% absorption in pill form. That means that your hair will experience growth 5-33x faster with liquid biotin. Another benefit of liquid biotin is that it bypasses the digestive processing system and flows right to the bloodstream within a matter of a few minutes. Get ready for your ponytail to swing in the wind! Check out our two favorite brands of liquid biotin below!


Our Picks: Kal 10000 Mcg Ultra Biotin Drops & SBR Nutrition 5000 Mcg Drops

Kal 10,000 Mcg Drops is our personal favorite brand of liquid biotin. We have tested it and have experienced no side effects, the taste is delicious, and the results are fast! Our second pick is SBR Nutrition’s 5000 Mcg Drops, because of the popular online reviews and the low dosage for people that may be sensitive to biotin. Whichever one you choose, make sure you drink half of your body weight in ounces of water per day to avoid negative side effects like acne and pimples.


Get ready! Set! Grow! 

Eat Like Beyoncé & Jay-Z: 22-Day Vegan Meal Plan

Although you may not have the bank account or the relationship Beyonce & Jay-Z share, now you can have their meal plan.


Beyoncé & Jay-Z partnered with their trainer and nutritionist, Marco Borges, to develop 22 Days Nutrition, which is a plant-based meal planner app that creates a personalized diet plan to help you achieve optimal health. After just one week of following this new meal plan, you might just be crazy in love.


The app uses the same dietary guidelines that Beyoncé & Jay-Z follow to create a customized eating plan for you. You’ll be eating like the Queen B herself!


The paid subscription of 22 Days Nutrition promises you support from nutrition coaches, thousands of healthy and delicious recipes, a custom plan that fits your life, and grocery delivery for people that live in certain cities and areas. But we found a FREE alternative so put your wallet away!


Click here for a sample of the 22 Days Nutrition diet plan and some superstar recipes including vanilla chia pudding, smoky avocado and jicama salad, and quinoa enchiladas. Now it’s time to eat! You ready?






Kinky Hair Routine for Growth, Moisture, and Detangling

Out of all of the natural hair types, kinky hair (4b/4c) has a tight curl pattern, experiences a hard time retaining moisture, has 20%-75% shrinkage, and is prone to tangling, matting, and breakage if not taken care of properly. Despite its characteristics, kinky hair is gorgeous! It just requires special care that can be accomplished with a unique haircare routine. Follow this 14-Day Kinky Hair Routine to grow, restore, nourish, moisturize and detangle your beautiful kinky hair.

Hair Care Methods

A) L.O.C. (Liquid, Oil, Cream) Method

The L.O.C. Method is the best technique to moisturize natural hair because it layers hair products in an order that maximizes the retention of moisture. This method is composed of first hydrating your hair with either water in a spray bottle or a liquid leave-in-conditioner. Secondly, spritz a thin layer of hair oil to lock the water molecules in. Lastly, apply a creamy moisturizer to seal the moisture. The L.O.C. Method will be completed three times each week.

The best liquids and leave-in-conditioners for kinky hair are EDEN BodyWorks Coconut Shea Leave-In Conditioner, Mielle Pomegranate & Honey Leave In Conditioner, Kinky-Curly Knot Today Leave In Conditioner/Detangler, and Cantu Salon Size Leave In Conditioning Repair Cream.


The best hair oils for this method are coconut oil, jojoba oil, Jamaican Black Castor Oil, olive oil, and avocado oil.


The best hair creams for kinky hair are Qhemet Biologics Aethiopika Hydrate & Twist Butter;  As I Am’s DoubleButter Cream and Carols Daughter Coco Creme Coil Enhancing Moisture Butter.


B) Gorgeous Growth Routine

Our recommended hair growth routine is composed of applying a hair growth oil to your scalp and/or edges. Wild Hair Growth Oil and Manetabolism Growth Oil contains essential oils for hair growth. You will complete this routine four times each week.


C) Detangle

Detangling kinky hair can prevent breakage, helps retain hair length, and prevents matting. To detangle your hair, use a detangler hair product, comb your ends with a wide-tooth comb first and work your way to the top. Our recommended detangler hair products are Aunt Jackie’s Knot On My Watch, Instant Leave-in Detangling Therapy and Kinky-Curly Knot Today Leave In Conditioner/Detangler. Typically, you only need to detangle once a week before you wash your hair, but feel free to do it as often as its needed.

D) Co-Wash

Since shampoo can strip your hair of moisture, co-washing your hair is an important part of a kinky hair care routine. To co-wash your hair wet your hair first and then apply the conditioner. After that, massage the conditioner throughout your hair and then comb it. Lastly, wash out the conditioner and allow your hair to air dry. You can use your typical conditioner or buy a conditioner that is specifically for co-washing. Our recommended co-wash products are Pantene Deep Hydrating Co-Wash for Natural and Curly Hair and Eden BODYWORKS Coconut Shea Cleansing CoWash. You should co-wash once a week.

E) Shampoo & Deep Condition

Shampooing kinky hair is necessary for cleansing and deep conditioning kinky hair is essential to seal in moisture and to prevent breakage. After shampooing your hair, allow your deep conditioner to sit for 15-30 minutes before washing it out. You will shampoo and deep condition once every two weeks. Our recommended shampoos are Shea Moisture Jamaican Black Castor Oil Shampoo, Alikay Naturals Moisturizing Black Soap Shampoo, and Taliah Waajid Curls, Waves and Naturals Clean-N-Curly Shampoo. Our recommended deep conditioners are Neutrogena Triple Moisture Replenishing Deep Recovery Hair Mask and Macadamia Natural Oil Deep Repair Masque.


F) Sophisticated Sleep Routine: Satin Scarf & Silk/Satin Pillow

It is important to protect your hair while you are sleeping so that you don’t dry out your hair and cause breakage. Wearing a satin scarf and sleeping on a silk or satin pillowcase every night allows your hair to retain moisture and prevents tangling, shedding and thinning.

14-Day Kinky Hair Routine

Follow this 14-day natural hair routine for kinky hair that will lead to hair growth, amazing moisturization, and prevent detangling. *If your hair gets dry in between the L.O.C. Method days, feel free to apply a little leave-in-conditioner to maintain moisture.*

Day 1 Routine
  • A) L.O.C. (Liquid, Oil, Cream) Method
  • F) Sophisticated Sleep Routine
Day 2 Routine
  • B) Gorgeous Growth Routine
  • F) Sophisticated Sleep Routine
Day 3 Routine
  • B) Gorgeous Growth Routine
  • F) Sophisticated Sleep Routine
Day 4 Routine
  • A) L.O.C. (Liquid, Oil, Cream) Method
  • F) Sophisticated Sleep Routine
Day 5 Routine
  • B) Gorgeous Growth Routine
  • F) Sophisticated Sleep Routine
Day 6 Routine
  • B) Gorgeous Growth Routine
  • F) Sophisticated Sleep Routine
Day 7 Routine
  • C) Detangle
  • D) Co-Wash
  • A) L.O.C. (Liquid, Oil, Cream) Method
  • F) Sophisticated Sleep Routine
Day 8 Routine
  • A) L.O.C. (Liquid, Oil, Cream) Method
  • F) Sophisticated Sleep Routine
Day 9 Routine
  • B) Gorgeous Growth Routine
  • F) Sophisticated Sleep Routine
Day 10 Routine
  • B) Gorgeous Growth Routine
  • F) Sophisticated Sleep Routine
Day 11 Routine
  • A) L.O.C. (Liquid, Oil, Cream) Method
  • F) Sophisticated Sleep Routine
Day 12 Routine
  • B) Gorgeous Growth Routine
  • F) Sophisticated Sleep Routine
Day 13 Routine
  • B) Gorgeous Growth Routine
  • F) Sophisticated Sleep Routine
Day 14 Routine
  • C) Detangle
  • E) Shampoo & Deep Condition
  • A) L.O.C. (Liquid, Oil, Cream) Method
  • F) Sophisticated Sleep Routine

Belly Fat Cure Diet: Fastest Way to a Flat Stomach

The Belly Fat Cure Diet, created by health and wellness expert, Jorge Cruise, is a quick and effective way to burn belly fat once and for all. This plan has been known to cause a weight loss of 4-9 pounds each week. Instead of counting calories, Cruise’s program focuses on counting carbohydrates and sugar, which are the two sources of stomach fat because “insulin manages blood sugar levels and controls the accumulation of fat — especially around the waistline.”

The Belly Fat Diet only encompasses two main rules! Each day you are only allowed

  • 15 grams of sugar (don’t count foods with less than 0.5 grams of sugar); and
  • 6 servings of “healthy, unprocessed carbohydrates”, which is 5-20 grams of carbs per serving.  If you follow this main rule, you will be on your way to a flat stomach in no time!

Along with the main rule of the diet, there are a few things to keep in mind.

  • Although one serving of carbs is 5-20 grams of carbs, that does not mean you will have the maximum of 120 grams of carbs per day, because you should count serving sizes. For example, eating a granola bar that has 11 grams of carbs and a sandwich that has 20 grams of carbs are both equivalents to one serving of carbs because they are both between 5-20 grams of carbs.
  • Also, try to limit your use of artificial sweeteners. Most artificial sweeteners are discouraged, but sugar alcohols (xylitol) and stevia are approved for the diet.

Once you get to your goal weight, continue limiting your sugar and carbohydrates to maintain the weight loss, but feel free to slowly increase your servings of sugar and carbohydrates to get more vitamins and nutrients.

Sample Daily Meal Plan

  • Breakfast = 3 eggs, 2 slices buttered toast (recommended Ezekial 4:9 Whole Grain Bread)
  • Snack = Handful of walnuts
  • Lunch = Tuna salad on one piece pita bread
  • Snack = 1 cup cottage cheese (sprinkled with approved sweetener)
  • Dinner = Grilled chicken or steak, sautéed veggies and 1/2 cup brown rice

Although it is not needed, feel free to order Cruise’s book, The Belly Fat Cure, for recommended meal plans and more information.